You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
