Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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