This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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