The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
