I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
