Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
