i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
