Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
