How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
