Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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