Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
