just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
