there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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