Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
