addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
