Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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