there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
