I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
