so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
FUCK WHALES
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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