i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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