before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
