I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
do nipples grow back?
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