I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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