at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
