I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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