WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
