return my video game
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
