I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
