My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Your cock deserves a montage
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
