girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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