i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
