Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
