Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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