So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
