Plan B is the new Plan A
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
