Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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