I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
