He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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