I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
