It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Can i not drive my cunt home
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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