So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
