we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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