They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Watching her eat just hurts me
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
