Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
