I just cut my nipple shaving
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
