he shaved USA in his pubs
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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