in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
