I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
