I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
