you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
