don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am midnight drunk by noon
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
