Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
